Riding the Infertility Crazy Train

how I'm muddling through infertility, loss, and perimenopause

This Little Light of Mine

20130131_190925I am an avid amateur candle maker. In fact,  it’s my thing. I love candles!  I love simple candles and dramatic candles. They’re peaceful and radiate a solace.  It’s somewhat spiritual and medatative.  My candles are a-freakin-mazing!  I guarantee they are more aromatic than the best you can buy.   In fact, people have come to expect them as gifts and favors for any and all occasions.  It’s flattering actually.

But tooting my own horn is not the topic to this post…

This Little Light of Mine regards the snowflake candles I’ve been making just for me, myself, and my empty little womb.  I call them snowflake candles not for the starburst pattern of the wax, but for the unique perfection in every single individual snowflake.  It’s how I think of my baby.

In this infertile world, I find that I am more sentimental than pre-IF.  Jaded in certain aspects,  but so very tender and sentimental in others.  I make my snowflake candles with love, and burn them in reverence, hope, and longing for my unborn perfect little snowflake.   (Ok, yes, I know my unborn child is un-conceived as of yet! Details!)

In a nutshell, they make me happy. Happy to make. Happy to light. Happy to watch flicker and dance…

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